Can you hear that? Irritating isn’t it? It’s my idiot yellow labrador retriever who will not stop yipping. That’s right yipping. It’s not your normal ferocious “You’re on my property, I will kill you now.” barking. This says “I am insane. You were late in getting me my Prozac yesterday. Did I mention I’m insane? Yes, I’m here. Hello? Anyone hear me? I’mmmmm insannnnnnnneeeeeeeeee!” And do you know what I hear? “Hello!?! I am your extremely irritating, idiot yellow dog! Please come out here and shoot me with a face full of vinegar or the hose until I shut up! Helloooooooo! Anyone home?”

Yes, I got my degree in Dogology- translations of an idiot retriever back in 1994. Everyone should have this degree.