Today I am having my best WordPress day ever. Ok, it’s no where near the 50,000 hits a day I got on my best days at Spaces, but it’s my best WordPress day ever.  The statistics are such that I don’t even know exactly where the hits are coming from. Most of them seem to be going to an entry I did on rolfing when I first started blogging here. This is a tad bit frustrating, but what I find most most frustrating of all is that they are many “top blogs” that are ranking up in the Top Posts in WordPress or Top Blogs and quite frankly, I don’t know how they got there. I read the content and it….sucks. I even read the content in Spanish to make sure there’s not some elusive blog quality I might be missing. Like today I read the blog Esto es un blog. Ok that’s the description. In English it means This is a blog. And as I go on to read the profile and entry, my eyelids start to sag, I start to lose focus and then I get pissed off. Seriously, he’s talking about eating donuts with some dude named Nacho and I’m sticking my neck out here telling the world I hadn’t shaved my legs in a week! The furryness was so bad, Steve grabbed a nail clipper and was trying to trim it like a smart ass while I’m on the phone. And yet Nacho and his compadres are ranking up at the top of WordPress! WTF?!

I visit Technorati and it’s the same thing. Give me some FUNNY blogs. I want root-beer-through-the-nose funny. I DEMAND root-beer-through-the-nose funny. Or give me something to think about. Thought provoking. And for God’s sake spare me the I love Jesus talk (there really was no pun intended there.) I absolutely HATE when I come to a blog and they’ve got the in-your-face Jesus talk. Like so uncomfortably Jesus oriented that you need to leave immediately lest you get God all over you and your shoes. Oh I love God and all, but yesterday he hated me. He might still hate me today.

I don’t want to hear either about how we should pull out of Iraq, or about which politician is more corrupt. Isn’t corrupt the definition of politician? I’m pretty sure I looked that one up. 

I think what this comes down to is I am in search of my peeps. DB Cooper blogged that he went in search of his peeps. Now he’s fricken’ funny. He’s my type of peeps. Maybe we need to share blogrolls.

And I found this new blog called The Underpaid Kept Woman. When she fell off her ladder because Churchie McJesus rang the doorbell to ensure that Jesus Christ was her Lord and Savior and startled her, I literally almost died laughing.

I’ve been reading Scott Adams lately and Scott’s a smart guy. He’s funny AND thought provoking. Ok I don’t always want to think, but laugh, yes, I always want to laugh.

And I found this blog called Anonymous Lawyer that’s pretty damn funny. Ok, it must be because my heart is dark and shriveled and 10 sizes too small that I find it funny. Because Steve just sat there horrified. I told him he needs to get out there and meet more lawyers or something. But he just said “You have your father’s dark and shriveled heart.”

My friend, Becky, turned me onto a blog called The Naked Ovary. I like parenting blogs that view the daily insanity we go through as parents with a sense of humor. This lady is funny because she just adopted a 14 month old little girl from China. And everything you’ve already been through as a parent she finds new, horrifying and shocking. Like the fact that babies can shit UP their backs and manage to soil every clean piece of laundry (yours and theirs) that you own. Or that babies wake up in the middle of the night and want to play. ALLLLL NIGHHT. It’s funny to relive those things through the eyes of someone whose never been there and has NOT been eased into it. I imagine this is much like it will be when my sister has children (you didn’t just see me make the sign of the cross.)

I can just hear the phone calls now, 2 a.m. and my sister on the other end of the phone screaming “WTF IS THIS? HOW CAN SHIT FROM THEIR ASS GET INTO THEIR HAIR? IT’S LIKE THERE WAS A SHIT HURRICANE INSIDE THE PAJAMAS!” and “DOESN’T THIS KID KNOW MY KATE SPADE PURSE IS NOT A BOAT AND DOES NOT BELONG IN THE BATHTUB?” I give her 6 months tops before she tries to put the kid up on Ebay.

But I digress. I am still wondering why certain blogs are at the top and I was searching for my peeps. I was also wondering how some of you lurkers found your way here.  Perhaps I’m just in search of people I can relate to.  I had an 11 year old girl (allegedly) post today and link to her blog. And I go to check it out and it has her name, her parents and sibling names, her school, where she lives. And in my head I’m screaming “OMG! WHO IS SUPERVISING THIS KID?!” If this kid is truly 11, she’s probably the most literate 11 year old I’ve ever met. That’s not even mentioning the fact that she is Indian so English is her second language. (Ah, now the allegedly becomes clear.) Oh look, all the pedophiles just got up and left my blog….

So here’s a toast to my best day at WordPress. And to finding my peeps. And to stepping on all those people while I climb over them to get to the top. ;) Salud!