Let me just say that feet are disgusting. I gag when I see people with that nasty toenail shit where it turns all yellow and looks likes it might start sprouting mushrooms. And the kind of foot crap like athlete’s feet, warts, sores, blisters, you name it, totally horrifies me. Seriously, the worst job in the whole effin world has to be a podiatrist. I’d rather have my face up in gineys and asses all day, rather than that. I used to have a roomate with the worst smelling feet you could possibly imagine. Vinegar smells FABULOUS compared to those. I’d make him put his shoes back on just so I could breathe.

It should be against the law for 90% of the population to wear sandals and open toe shoes. My husband has these long ass toes, that he uses like disgusting fingers to pick stuff up or pinch me with. It’s horrific. The kinda stuff my nightmares are made of. And he and my sister have those nasty second toes longer than the big toe. What the hell is that? Some alien hybrid toe? Seriously, it’s utterly revolting.  Toes should be in a neat little arc and get smaller as they go towards the outside. They should be free of any kind of skin abnormality or fungus. And if your toes aren’t all fingery looking, you can adorn them with some pretty polish and jewelry. Here let me show you. The modeling agencies are clamoring to feature my feet in all the new foot ads. They’re the next new rage in runway feet.

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Now let us never speak of feet again. And stop leaving feet comments for me. They’re just disgusting.

 

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