Growing up in Louisiana, Texas and California, I was never exposed to snow. Now that I live in an area where it snows, I’m discovering things about snow that never occurred to me. Now I’m sure all this is rudimentary instead of novel discoveries for those of you who live in areas with heavy snow, but you have to realize that people who have never lived with snow find these things both surprising and fascinating.

  1. Snow has many different shapes, sizes and textures. There’s itty bitty stingin’ snow, big fat fluffy snow, snow that floats down, snow that comes in sideways, and sometimes snow that seems to come from underneath.  
  2. Hail is mean. Being pelted with giant balls of snow hurts. Yelling “HEY! You’re denting my truck!” at the sky does not stop it from falling.
  3. There are millions of different ways to say it’s snowing. I am fascinated by checking the forecast and never knowing what in the hell they are talking about. For example, what in the hell is freezing drizzle and how is that different from snow? What is sleet and how is it different from hail or snow? For that matter, how come hail isn’t snow? What is the difference between snow, snow showers and few showers. Is this some meteorologic humor? I have never seen so many damn ways to say icy stuff is coming down from the sky.
  4. You can’t build a snowman with “dry snow.” Apparently, snow can be of a texture that it will not pack up into a snowman. I find this annoying. 
  5. Black ice means you can’t see it and won’t know it’s there until you’re flat on your ass or face down on the concrete.
  6. Interestingly enough, dog shit freezes. This is something that never occurred to me. The beautiful, white, winter wonderland that is my backyard, is only marred by several ugly, brown turdgloos (turd igloos) frozen solid to the ice and snow. Who woulda thought?
  7. After about 4 inches of snow, it is necessary to dig your vehicle out. Apparently windshield wipers freeze to the windshield and can not simply throw the snow off. I know this is not surprising to those of you in snow bound areas, but this is surprising to people only used to rain. I had the kids’ plastic sand shovel and had to dig my windshield out. The neighbor came over and asked where my ice scraper was. After I decided he was not being a smart alek my reply was this “I’m from California. I don’t own an ice scraper.”
  8. On that same note, doors can freeze shut. This is both surprising and annoying.
  9. When applying salt products to de-ice the driveway, if one were to just drop handfuls of salt onto the driveway, instead of say, a fine sprinkle, it creates melted holes in the driveway. Nothing more. Thanks for trying, honey. ;) A neighbor came over and shoveled it. Apparently that’s what you do AFTER you put salt on it. It doesn’t magically dissolve. You learn something new every day.
  10. As the weather climbs to the mid 30s, one must be careful standing under trees as large clumps of snow just arbitrarily fall from the sky, sliding down the back of one’s neck and inside clothing. Screaming is not appreciated by those around you.