Whose in charge of the google searches?!!! Someone searched for “Lazy, Fat Helen” and got my blog! Of course the search engines also brought “septic tanks and planes,” “stomach vacuum,” “what should a sissy husband wear to a wedding,” “frog butts,” “arms too hairy” and ”dream pregnant sausage,” but really, I’m offended with the whole lazy, fat Helen thing. Thanks for thinking of me, but I’ll pass. Oh and I’ll pass on the frog butts and pregnant sausage. I hate it when I dream about pregnant sausages. And then they have a litter of little vienna sausages. <shudder>

Also, I don’t know Erma from Louisiana, why you have eggplant sized ovarian cysts, or where Gullet’s cat is. I don’t have pictures of your kindergartner’s 2006 Christmas party, I can’t help that you’re going to get fired, oh but I do have a good word association quiz for you. Freak=??????

There’s only one person I can help. The dude looking for the “roses are red friendship poems”:

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
You’re leaning too close to your screen
I can see your brain through your nose

Ok so that was a terrible poem.  Feel free to add your own roses are red friendship poem in honor of Valentine’s Day. We aim to please here. Except for the frog butt guy. You can go elsewhere.