• I am not as strong as I thought. Son #1 is heavy. Really effin heavy. So is the effin wheelchair. It weighs at least 50 pounds without son in it. I am exhausted from putting him in and taking him out of the car and taking the kids to 2 doctors.
  • It is absoultely impossible to get a kid in a wheelchair in and out of a car when you’re in a regular parking spot.
  • Pushing a wheelchair uphill for several minutes makes me breathe like Rosie O’Donnell trying to run a mile.
  • “Handicap accessible” is often a huge lie.
  • Son #2’s pain threshold never ceases to amaze me. I took him to the pediatrician today and he has both an ear and sinus infection. He never complained.
  • There are at least 201 ways to pinch the sh!t out of your fingers or smash them with the wheelchair. All of them completely unexpected. Then at least 40 of the usual ways you expect to smash the sh!t out of your fingers. I. HATE. THE. WHEELCHAIR. I am having flashbacks to when I first had children and going anywhere was so hard because you gotta carry so much crap with you, gotta heave the stroller in and out of the car, gotta buckle the kid in and take him out, Ugggghhhh! Just so you know, the wheelchair is the stroller from hell. It’s LIKE a stroller, but bigger, heavier and less compact. I hate it. Does Peg Perego make wheelchairs? Cuz if not they should totally get into it. The wheelchair SUCKS. It’s like the Walmart brand of wheelchairs. No seatbelt. Son almost slid out 3 or 4 times. Did I mention it’s EFFIN HEAVY?! I. HATE. IT.
  • Listening to music that reminds me of Pop is not a good idea right now. My ability to cope with that got flushed with my super hero pee this morning.
  • Even though it may be a beautiful, sunny day, the weather here will turn on you like the sibling you just kicked when mom wasn’t looking. I am soaked. I left and it was a beautiful sunny day. Imagine my surprise when the floodgates of hell opened and poured down on me. Nope. No coat. It rained in my shoes. My feet are still wet.
  • When my cell phone caller id rings saying it’s Microsoft, I can not always assume it’s Steve, and that it could be one of the 50,000 other people who work there. Therefore hissing “YES?!” into the receiver comes off as rude. I must always answer with a polite Hello? even if I THINK I know who it is and even if it IS the third call from Microsoft inside of 5 minutes while I’m sitting there with the doctor.