Today son #1 was kidnapped by aliens and replaced with a teenage girl with PMS. We’ve got stomping, screaming, crying, and door slamming tantrums. And he’s only been home for a half an hour. Steve and I have had the following IM conversation:

Steve says:There?

Helen says:Yes and I’m ready for the drama queen to go to bed

Helen says:what time is it?

Steve says:3:59

Helen says:is that too early for bed?

Steve says: Lol… yes.

I’ve said it before, if I was a drinkin’ kinda gal, I’d already be dippin’ into the liqour cabinet. It’s been a stressful day. I had my bone scan today. I had to drive to Seattle, get an injection, race home to get son #2, drive back to have the scan then race home to get son #1. In the meantime, I had a slightly disturbing conversation with the police.

Since our new neighbors (I’m not making any <ahem> accusations, just noting the timing) moved in with their teenage children, someone has been siphoning my gas on average, every week. Sometimes a few times in a week, sometimes they wait a week and a half, but needless to say, it’s been A LOT of gas and a lot of money and a hell of a lot of aggravation. I get in the car to go somewhere only to find my tank is bone dry when I filled it up the day before. Grrrrrr. So the last time I got gas, I thoroughly wiped down the gas cap and the door and the area around it so that I could call the police and have them fingerprint and catch the little a$$holes. I should note that when I first started complaining about this, Steve didn’t seem to really be interested. I pointed out that getting 100 miles to a tank of gas, no matter HOW bad your mileage is, isn’t possible, but he still didn’t seem to care. I complained to my neighbor who usually parks her car in her garage and her comment was “I haven’t noticed anything.” Then she called me about two weeks later and said ‘THEY TOOK THE WHOLE TANK OF GAS!” And she was MAD. When I told Steve they got the neighbors across the street he said “Oh! So this is for REAL?” MMMmmm hmmm. Yeah. Feel free to roast him in the comments. ;)

So anyway, they stole my gas again the other day and I called the police today to come out and fingerprint it. That’s when the officer says ” Uh, we don’t have the equipment to process fingerprints unless it’s on glass or shiny chrome.” Seriously. He said that. And I had to bite my tongue to not say “Gee, I hope no one gets murdered or anything here.” God forbid there might be a crime for which fingerprints are needed and the criminal didn’t touch glass or shiny chrome. They should put a notice in the paper: TO ALL CRIMINALS: PLEASE ONLY TOUCH GLASS OR SHINY CHROME OTHERWISE WE CAN NOT OBTAIN A SHRED OF EVIDENCE AGAINST YOU. Honestly, what in the hell?!?! I wanted to catch the little effers on camera or something, but alas, it will cost me more time and energy. So I bought a locking gas cap. I hope that’s the end of it. But I’m truly concerned about crime now. I mean, what if there’s a serious crime? What are they gonna do? Say, “Stop! Or I’ll say stop again!”

Update: I found a near beer in the fridge and sucked half of it down in one gulp. Bring it on Drama Queen!  ;)