Have you ever heard of heard of someone literally being driven insane by non-stop bickering and fighting? Because I may very well be there, and soon. It started at seven something this morning. The kids are standing next to my bed having an argument. I open only one eye certain that this could only be a bad dream. But alas, within seconds, I am hit by a flying fist. I threw my covers back and glared at them through the one open eye. “OUT!!!!!!!!!!” I hissed and they backed out the room. Do you have any idea what it’s like to go from dead asleep to screaming, punching children in three seconds? No? Wanna come for a visit? They can stay in your room.

So they waited until they were sure I was asleep, and standing at the threshhold of my bedroom with the door wide open, they picked up where they left off. ARE YA KIDDIN’ ME?!?!? I should take a moment at this point to mention that Steve is being sequestered in a hotel again for four days so he will not be back until Thursday - it’s all me this week.

I threatened them with severe punishment and again there was silence. You should know that I am not interested in justice, only silence. And they waited until I fell asleep again. Just until I fell asleep again. AND CAME BACK IN THE ROOM, NEXT TO MY BED AND START FIGHTING AGAIN! And they are screaming at me and at each other! So I sent them to their rooms and ordered the doors closed whereby they continue to fight with each other through closed doors. Yes folks, this is hell on earth. I won’t bore you with the details, but TWELVE HOURS LATER they are still bickering, fighting, screaming, punching, scratching, and whatever else they can think of.

It’s 6:54 pm and they are in bed. I couldn’t take it anymore. If I had to pull one of them off the other one one more time I would have had to call an ambulance to take me away. I banned them from speaking to each other, looking at each other, breathing in the same direction as the other one and they still found ways to fight. Those tears you see glistening in my eyes right now are because two minutes have passed for the first time in twelve hours without any fighting.

I just sent a text message to the babysitter asking if she can come tomorrow. If she doesn’t answer me soon, I’m going to hunt her down and just leave the kids on her doorstep so I can have a few moments of peace. Have you ever tried to referee a fight while sitting on the toilet? I just can’t do it again all day tomorrow. OMFG.  If I had had a film crew following me around today, I can guarantee that accidental pregnancies would be completely wiped out worldwide. THESE are the films they should show to teens to teach them about birth control.

I feel like I’m going to throw up and my head is going to explode. And son #1 says to me as I order him to bed before 7 pm; “Gosh Mom, you’re like all grouchy and stuff…” as he turns around and kicks his brother passing by……