I’ve got an arachnid problem. The kids are catching bugs and putting them in spider webs to help the spiders. They’ve named the spiders and told me I am not allowed to touch the webs. Except my yard now looks like a haunted house. And I almost walked straight into a 2.5 inch spider at the front door. We screamed at each other. I was louder. I informed Earl, or whatever his name is, that he was moving. I promptly took a stick swooped through the spider web and Earl ungratefully attacked my stick. With his fangs still in my stick, I scolded him on making webs at face height where I can walk straight into them.

I have news for all the spiders. They are all relocating. They are the hugest, fatest spiders I’ve ever seen, grotesquely overfed by the boys. I have now made a rule that only spiders in the garden can be fed. Apparently now that the spiders look like they’ve been on ‘roids, they were scaring the kids too and they have happily agreed to stop feeding the spiders. <shudder>