Every now and then a post requires it’s own theme music. This would be one of the posts. So before you read further, play the video. If you choose to watch the whole video before reading on, again, I must tell you that you need to hit play again because this post is all the more better with theme music.

In fact, I have to play it just to write. ;)

As some of you may remember, son #1 broke his hip in February. In June, his physical therapist said he needed to do Shudokan Karate to fully rehabilitate his hip. So off we went to the dojo. And here is where son #1 found his passion. There is nothing in his young life that he has ever had a greater passion for. It didn’t happen over time. The first day I knew something was going to be different about this activity. He came home every day and would practice. At any given time, I will find him with fists raised, practicing kicks, strikes, and punches. He moves with a grace I have never seen in him.

Son #2 loves karate too. By September, we were spending 4-5 days a week at the dojo. They couldn’t get enough of it. And here’s where our lives have forever changed. One Saturday morning we were waiting for the kids to finish and Steve says “Let’s do Karate too.” I made a face. “Uh, it’s not really my thing, but you can.” One of the Senseis in the dojo was nearby and told us we should watch the show Human Weapon. We started recording it for the kids to watch. I’ve never been interested in the martial arts, but I began watching the show and I was hooked.

Steve and I have played sports together, like hockey and softball, and the one thing I discovered is that when someone is a foot taller and a hundred pounds heavier, it’s just damn near impossible to get the upper hand. In hockey I have to resort to tripping and checking or he sends me flying with a flick of his arm. But with this martial arts thing….I learned that skill, not size matters. After watching one particular episode of Human Weapon, I was able to flip Steve. That’s right, I threw my 6′5″ husband like he was a rag doll. And suddenly, I was just devastated that I had not been introduced to martial arts sooner. This was FUN!

Steve started turning up the pressure to join the dojo. I kept insisting that the Shudokan style was not me. I was more interested in Judo or Jujitsu. “I want to throw people!” I kept saying, and still he kept up his quiet persistence. Then a month ago we were waiting for the kids to finish and there were two women practicing in the lobby for their third degree black belts. They were throwing real punches and kicks, their Gis (uniforms) were popping with the contact and I turned to Steve with an ear to ear grin and said “I want to do THAT!” I waited until they were finished and went up to one of them and said “I want to do what you’re doing but I don’t want to learn the Katas.” She grinned and said “Then combat Hapkido is for you and we have a great program here.” It was done. I was hooked and I signed up for Hapkido and Steve signed up for Karate that day.

With the four of us in Martial Arts, we are no longer a normal family. Last Monday, I was getting ready for class and I came out of the bedroom in my Gi (uniform). As soon as Steve saw me, he went into a Karate down block, fist poised. I went into a Hapkido fighting stance, both fists raised. We eyed each other warily. I said “Is this how we’re greeting each other now?” he replied “I guess so.” We feigned a few punches and kicks before I went downstairs to leave. It’s like the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Or Kato from Pink Panther. At any given moment you must be ready for punches, kicks and strikes. And since I’m learning a totally different style, it makes for some interesting tussles. This song you’re hearing, Kung Fu fighting has become our family’s theme song. You can hear “Mom! You totally left yourself open for a kidney punch!” and  ”No strikes to the temple, Son, it can kill someone.” or “HA! That kick totally missed my head!” coming from the kitchen. The kids’ favorite activity now is to go throw each other in the living room. Son #1 and I were sparring in the driveway the other day.

It could get ugly. It almost did two weeks ago over chocolate. I had just come home from Hapkido and flopped into a chair. I have a sacred bar of chocolate. The damn thing costs me $8 a bar at Whole Foods so I eat it in small pieces over the course of a couple of weeks. It’s my favorite. So Steve says “I’m going to eat your last piece of chocolate.” I threatened ”Don’t you dare.” and he said “Oh I’m eating it.” I had learned to triple punch that night: an elbow to the solar plexus, followed closely by a fist to the face and groin. “Don’t make me get up and triple punch you. If I have to get up, I’m triple punching you.” I hear wrapper crinkling and he’s standing there with the chocolate in his hand, grinning. I jump up out the chair and run across the room. I start to throw the elbow and he jumps and drops the chocolate. (He will claim I knocked the chocolate out his hand, but I never touched him. ;) ) We both stare in horror at the chocolate on the floor, look at each other, crack up laughing, then the smile fades and he says with dead seriousness ”Oh it’s on now!”

It could get worse. My sparring partner in class has been taking Hapkido for about 2 months. Her husband has been doing it for about a year. She says to me last week “I tried to get Stuart with a leg sweep last night. I went in for the kick and next thing I knew I was on my ass.” Very serious I asked “Did you surprise him with it? Cuz if he knows it’s coming he’s gonna take you out first.” Puzzled she says “Yeah, I came up behind him. He had no idea it was coming.” We both stood there scratching our heads then decided we needed to practice some more. Surprise leg sweeps needed to be practiced. ;) They’re an all-martial arts family too.

On Friday son #1 went to a board breaking class. Steve went to pick him up and he walked in the door carrying this:

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He had a look of pure rapture on his face. That’s right, he broke an inch-thick board with his hands. This kid has found his calling!

Steve and I are still waiting for our sparring gear to arrive. When it does, you can be certain you’ll find all four of us out on the lawn Kung Fu Fighting.