Have you ever noticed that when someone dies, you do/say the strangest things? I’m not talking about what other people say to the person grieving (those idiotic things are an entirely different blog post) but the things you find yourself doing and saying?

When Steve’s grandmother died, the paramedics left her in the middle of the floor. When we got there, I could not tolerate seeing her laying on the floor so I organized five of us to lift her onto the bed. And as soon as we got her onto the bed, which was extremely difficult, I said “Wow that was….” and my voice trailed off because I was about to say “like lifting a dead body.” Duh. Points for the brainiac.

And when his grandfather died? I brought clean underwear to the funeral home. How many dead people do you know need clean underwear? But somehow this was important to me.

Steve’s uncle used Pop’s cell phone to call me in the days after he died and when my caller ID came up “Pop” I caught myself cheerfully chirping “Hi Pop!” into the phone. I can’t count how many times I have picked up the phone to call him since he died, even though with his deafness, I had to yell through all conversations with an ear to ear grin and somehow I had forgotten he wasn’t here anymore….

I was in the bathroom getting ready for the funeral and Steve poked his head in and said “Stay out of the garbage!” Neither of us had slept in days and we both had dark black circles under our eyes. “Huh?” I said “You look like a raccoon!” he said when he was walking away. “Stay out of the garbage!” has been our catchphrase ever since when things are bad and no one has slept.

When my own grandfather died, I remember being concerned about leaving him all alone at the funeral home after the wake. Why? Because he might be LONELY? It truly blows the mind….

What got me thinking about all this was that my aunt called because her mother in law had died and I am reminded of the staggering grief and the ridiculous things you find yourself doing when someone dies. And how angry you feel at the sun for shining, people going about their business as if nothing has happened, and time for marching on oblivious to my pain. But alas……. I forgot to tell her to stay out of the garbage…. Mrs. Boudreaux will be sorely missed….