In the spring, I buy bags and bags of steer manure, chicken manure and compost to spread around the garden. It makes for fantastic flowers in the summer. And every year Steve is most unhappy when he has to unload bags and bags of shit from my truck. And every year he walks by, with a bag of steer manure over his shoulder and says “This is bullshit.” Then laughs himself silly. Monday I picked up 16 bags of bull shit. And he had sixteen jokes at the ready like: ”This is crap!” and then he’d laugh and say “I gotta a million of these!” He cracks himself up….every year. Same jokes. lol.
March 4, 2008
March 4, 2008 at 10:48 am
Uhm yea. I think I’ll pass on that. Right now we’ve invested in Miracle Grow Garden Soil and some nice deep brown mulch that smells heavenly when I pour it out of the bag. I just don’t think I can stomach manure of any kind on the garden. Plus I don’t want to attract more worms because that’ll mean the silly moles will come running. Or tunneling.
March 4, 2008 at 10:48 am
Hell, I’ve clogged up the WEB with my shit all day long!…LOL back at ya’–Hey Steve!…TV
March 4, 2008 at 10:50 am
bah ha ha ha ha!
::wipes away tear::
Oh that Steve!
March 4, 2008 at 10:56 am
Seriously, this blog entry is total poo.
I’m tired of dealing with your crap!
I didn’t know they stacked shit this high.
See? This stuff practically writes itself!
March 4, 2008 at 11:21 am
Zee- I’m sticking with the plain ole bullshit. You weren’t around yet when I tried other things: http://imhelendt.wordpress.com/2007/09/28/the-smell-of-death-has-overtaken-our-block/
Oh no. I’m staying with shit.
Thomas- LOL!
Fig- DO NOT encourage him. Same joke. EVERY TIME. SOmetimes I gotta buy manure 5 or 6 times in the spring.
Honey- Sigh. Never gets old for you, does it?
March 4, 2008 at 12:18 pm
O.
M.
G.
Helen I have yet to stop laughing from your “smell of death” post! I’m so sorry. I just cannot stop! Tears are rolling down! Thank goodness I only use stuff that smells good! The Miracle Grow soil looks like it came from the lush valley of somewhere tropical like Hawaii. There is absolutely no possible way I would have survived what you did if what I had gotten smelled the teensy bit like what you described. You are my hero!
March 4, 2008 at 1:09 pm
oh. my. gawd. Do you know what shit your kids are having to put up with??!
My Dad always did the manure thing. Sometimes eau de pouley shite. Sometimes a little steer poo here and a little there. sometimes throwing rabbit poo in from the rabbit hutches.
And GAW! Our house stunk up the neighborhood. All the neighborhood kids knew our house smelled like shit. The shame! The humiliation! The kids walking on the other side of the street to walk by our house.
Ahhh! There are still scars.
Did you not realize the trauma this bullshit will cause?
I’m calling CPS on you right now, you crap whore.
March 4, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Zee- OH THE HUMANITY! IT WAS HORRIBLE!
Scout- Oh PULEEZ. My kids have so much more to be embarassed about than this bullshit. ;D
Love,
The crap whore
March 4, 2008 at 2:33 pm
That is too funny! I love the phrase crap whore almost as much as the word hooha!
March 4, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Candid- Scout’s always got the good potty words.
Oh and I’m also a soap whore. lol.
March 4, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Tell him that only bulls know about bullshit!
March 4, 2008 at 6:33 pm
I thought my husband was the only one who made shitty jokes
March 4, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Hot- DO NOT encourage him!
Molly- LOL! Good one!
March 5, 2008 at 12:51 am
My husband does that too-he tells me the SAME stories with the SAME punch lines that he has been telling me since we first started dating. And yet I will (secretly) admit that I find them endearing.
I’m sick. Sick Sick Sick.
March 5, 2008 at 7:28 am
Person- OH NO! Get better soon! DOn’t let the baby get sick!
March 5, 2008 at 7:57 am
Funny Post! the human male is easily amused.
Off topic question:
Which do you prefer? Portland or Seattle?
I am thinking of moving to the Pacific Northwest and I am drawn between these two cities.
March 5, 2008 at 8:24 am
Jesse- I’ve lived in both. I prefer Seattle. Believe it or not Portland has twice the rainfall. The year I lived there, there were only 4 sunny days the ENTIRE YEAR. Sigh.
March 5, 2008 at 8:46 am
Hmm, Costwise is Portland a lot less expensive than seattle?
I am a poor young proffesional. Sadly
I need out of the East Coast, and the Pacific Northwest is about as far away as you can get from here.
March 5, 2008 at 11:35 am
Jesse- I lived in Portland in the early 80’s so I’m not sure about cost of living. Portland may be cheaper, although I know there are inexpensive areas around here too.
March 7, 2008 at 2:59 am
Hee hee Helen sorry to be so non-sense-making. Lack of sleep and all. I meant I’m a sick person to love my husband’s stupid stories even though I’ve heard them all a thousand times. We did just get over a family-wide sickness though which (thankfully!!) Baby Bug didn’t get.
March 9, 2008 at 3:46 pm
There is still 6″ of snow covering my garden. I figure it will be another month (at least) before I can put down manure. I am so ready for winter to be over so I can garden.
March 9, 2008 at 7:42 pm
Person- OOOOHHHHHHH! Glad she didn’t get it!
Alred- Spring is all about gardening in the pouring rain around here. lol.