March 14, 2008
Dear Honey,
Because you and kids ate all the cookies for breakfast this morning, I had nothing chocolately to munch on after lunch. So I went to get a piece of my very special, just for me, chocolate. It appears that my very special, just for me, chocolate is missing. Missing, of course, being a generous term for “being in your stomach.” There is nothing left but sub-par, crappy chocolate. Should this travesty occur again, you and I? ARE GOING TO THROW DOWN. I will lay in wait for you like a ninja. Then when you’re least expecting it? I will roundhouse kick you so hard, your mother will feel it. You will only be seconds away from death.
Your loving wife,
Helen
March 14, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Where, oh, where will this one-sided, slanted journalism stop? You may be aware that word has gotten out that “I Forgot Where I’m Going with This” has a well known estrogen bias.
With that said, the truth will prevail in my comments!
FACT: Said cookies were eaten by Thing 1 and Thing 2 (aka Son #1 and Son #2) this morning at approximately 8:00 AM PDT.
FACT: The Santander chocolate of which you speak is community property in the State of Washington, and therefore subject to consumption by people looking remarkably like me.
FACT: There are a couple dozen other varieties of chocolate in the house, including fancy dark chocolate purchased specifically to please your picky-ass taste buds. This includes, but is not limited to, chocolate purchased at finest chocolate boutiques in Paris, Barcelona, and the greater Seattle area.
FACT: I welcome an old fashioned ninja throw down. I just finished crapping out the last ninja that messed with me.
FACT: 100% of household husbands surveyed agree that you should go buy some more Santander today. And also make some more of those yummy cookies.
Love you.
March 14, 2008 at 2:10 pm
ermmm ,Hate to make you all jealous.. But Ive just mad my first ever batch of chocolate mousse, and if I do say so myself its bloody gorgeous!
Its made with 70% dark chocolate and has a shot and a half of baileys in it.
After I have finished eating my dinner and have put the childerbeasts to be I will be devouring it! lol
March 14, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Hmm we have chocolate wars here at our house too, although no ninja-esque behaviors ensue. It seems to be that if the spousal unit is smart enough to find where I hid it then it’s fair game, although that rarely happens. I usually have a decoy of subpar chocolate that he settles for, leaving me the cream of the chocoalte crop.
March 14, 2008 at 4:53 pm
You chocolate lovers are a devious group. Hint for the next lifetime: Don’t marry a chocolate lover. I didn’t and I don’t hide mine from anyone. (either that or he knows better by now–chocolate-less me is not a very nice person). Until then, hide it inbetween your cookbooks in the pantry—no man I know even goes there
March 14, 2008 at 9:24 pm
My observation about “Honey’s” rebuttal?
Methinks he doth protest too much.
*shrug* I’m just sayin’….
March 14, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Dear Chocolate Snarfer- Hello Pot? This is the kettle, YOU’RE BLACK! Your rebuttal was slanted towards a testosterone bias! The Santander was MY chocolate because I don’t like the other ones that are left and YOU KNOW THAT! It doesn’t matter if it came from Paris and Barcelona, it still tastes like Mierde and Mierda. Prepare to meet your doom!!!!
Nemma- You didn’t even SHARE the mousse?!
Mother Hen- Hmmm I’ll have to try that.
Jenner- One should never get between me and my chocolate. He’s never taken out the cookbooks. Good Point.
Ms. H- THANK YOU! Finally someone sees through his lies! ;D
March 15, 2008 at 3:17 am
Yeah I shared it lol.
It made four very generous portions, although I think next time it will be made into 8 as even Karl (A serious chocoholic) couldnt finish one portian lol
March 16, 2008 at 9:13 am
I’m surprised you let him off with a warning. This wouldn’t have been Godiva, would it?
March 17, 2008 at 9:10 am
Nemma- How sweet of you to share. ;D
Pandemonic- Oh, there’s going to be blows if he eats it again. No Godiva. I’ve become such a chocolate snob I won’t even eat Godiva anymore. That’s been relegated to the sub-par pile.
March 17, 2008 at 11:28 am
Rationalize all you want, Stevo-o. Bottom line: F with a woman’s choco and prepare to die. Memorize it as mantra or it will be your epitaph. I’m just sayin’.
March 17, 2008 at 11:29 am
Rationalize all you want, Steve-o. Bottom line: F with a woman’s choco and prepare to die. Memorize it as mantra or it will be your epitaph. I’m just sayin’.
March 17, 2008 at 11:44 am
wow. a comment so nice, I commented twice. not. sorry.
March 17, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Beth- Such wise advice. And yet? He ignores!
March 17, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Our husbands must be conspiring together. I cannot TELL you how many times I have tried to save and/or hide “special mommy food” that has been snatched and eaten WITHOUT THE PROPER APPRECIATION by my guys. It seems my husband thinks that I should cram all of my specially-bought food down my throat quickly and in a closet somewhere if I want to have it all to myself. If not, he and our son will eat a $5 thing of Tziki sauce like catchup (LITERALLY WITH FRIES)…and then when I confront them about it my husband always says the same thing.
It wasn’t that good anyway.
ARRG! I wish I had your awesome ninja skills to protect my delicious morsels.
March 18, 2008 at 8:49 am
wow….you women are crazy! steve i have to side with you on this one. at least us men know that the world wont end without chocolate.
I wonder if i held the world’s chocolate supply hostage how many women would go insane or simply ceast to exist
March 18, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Person- Oh he wouldn’t DARE say it wasn’t very good. No. No. No. My ninja skills CAN be aquired with special training. ;D
Jesse- If you TRIED and I say TRY of course, to hold the world’s chocolate supply hostage, I’m afraid you would be dead only moments after you even THOUGHT about it. ;D