I see there has been an uprising around here with demands for entries and such. I’m only one person, people! I’m not a machine. If I were a machine, I wouldn’t be sitting here trying to type with my right arm in a sling. Yes, you read that right. The only part of my body that was not injured, is now injured. We were breaking boards in karate and hapkido using elbow strikes. I broke the thickest board, however, I used probably ten times the amount of force I needed to use. My arm is swollen from fingertips to shoulder and there is a nasty, nasty bruise forming. I had it x-rayed last night and there is no break, but it doesn’t look right. Sigh. Sensei told me this morning that I need to take up knitting and buy a gun.

It’s a feat to type, but I know all you junkies are having some fix issues out there, so here you go:

Ok, so if you’ve ever bought one of those tie-dye kits, you know that they come with gloves. And instructions. And the instructions clearly state that you should WEAR said gloves. And if you’re like me, you say: Meh. I don’t need no stinkin’ gloves…………… But? Oh yes, my friends. You need the stinkin’ gloves. Because? Unlike the easter egg hands I’ve occassionally treated myself to, this stuff does NOT come off. Oh yes, I had rainbow colored dye up to my wrists and more than a week later, I still have dye on my hands. The first day was horrible. My hands were flaming, neon, rainbow colored.

My aunt and I took the kids to a drive-up snow cone place. When I reached out the window to hand the girl the money, she’s staring at my hands. When she looks up at me with questioning eyes, I deadpanned “We were killing clowns.” She gasped and took a step back while my aunt and I laughed so hard we had tears coming down our faces and couldn’t breathe. When she came back to give me the change, she still looked terrified of me and we were still laughing so hard we couldn’t say anything. Gawwwdddd. That girl had NO sense of humor. Like clowns really have rainbow colored blood.

Annnnnnyyyyyyyywaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy. My aunt and I had to take my grandmother to have a CT scan while I was in Louisiana. My grandma is 89 and the sweetest, kindest old lady you’ve ever met. She’s also got a fantastic sense of humor. So one of the CT techs came out to get her and she’s on her walker and the girl is sort of holding on to her arm and helping her towards the room. So I said “Ok Grandma, remember NO biting, kicking, or pinching.” My aunt pipes up and says “Yeah Mama, no slapping, or punching, you be nice!” And my grandma started to giggle and the CT tech goes ashen, lets go of my grandma, while my aunt and I nearly fell off our chairs we were laughing so hard. The kids chimed in ”Behave Grandma!” and the girl looked on the verge of a stroke. It was priceless. The girl gave Grandma about five feet of space and then wouldn’t go near her while we continued to cry we were laughing so hard. Grandma giggled all the way into the room.

I SWEAR. No one has a sense of humor anymore….. Grandma’s the one who took out the clowns. We just buried them. Only the arterial blood is rainbow colored. ;D