I’m shy. I’m sure it’s why people think I’m so sweet until they get to know me. Anyone who knows me would never describe me as sweet. A friend of ours, Bill, told me years ago that he initially thought I was sweet and innocent. Until he sat down next to me before one of our softball games and first experienced the true me- a lot of attitude with the mouth to match. It was shortly after I’d had shoulder surgery so I’m going to say I was probably high on narcotics without any filters. Oh wait. That’s right. I don’t have filters. I say what’s on my mind. And on that particular day, I was having to sit on the bench until my shoulder healed and we were watching the sales team (whom I hated) play another team in the game before ours. I may or may not have said we were going to kick this team’s ass in the play offs. I may or may not have had a competitive fire lit in the pit of my belly and done a fair amount of trash talking.
This is why Steve can never run for public office. My mouth would lose the election for him before he even got started. I’d make Theresa Hines Kerry look tame. A whole team of handlers would have to throw a bag over my head and gag me before I went out in public. And then I’d just get fiestier. Like the angry, wet cat from hell. I’d be spitting and biting with my claws out and it just wouldn’t go well for all involved.

So anyway, our family was talking about fame in the car. To son #1’s surprise, I said I had no desire to ever be famous. I don’t ever wish to be in the public limelight. My shyness turns to all out fear when the spotlight is turned on me. I don’t like cameras, and being the center of attention freaks me out. Steve pointed out that this blog had earned me a small amount of fame. But I asserted that I never started it with the intention of becoming “famous.” I write because it relieves stress. I crack jokes about stuff that usually wasn’t even close to funny when it was happening but perspective later made it amusing. I’m guess I’m ok with blog fame right up until someone walks up to me and says “I read your blog” and then I want to start screaming and not stop. So son #1 said “Well what if you wrote a book then had to go on TV or something?” I glanced uneasily at Steve and said “Well then Daddy would have to come on TV with me because there’s no way I’d do that by myself and I’d have to take Paxil or whatever it is they give people for stage fright.” Steve rolled his eyes and said “Why not? That’d be awesome! But what am I going to do? Introduce myself ‘Hi, I’m Steve, I’m her husband and handler and I’m media trained?’ ” Well duuuhhhh. Microsoft trained him to handle the media. I’d just start punching people. This attitude and mouth takes some work, you know! It’s a good thing Steve’s media trained….
March 8, 2009 at 1:37 pm
I find it shocking how much we think a like, my friend.
I did little to help Beau as an officer when we were int he military. I hated most officers’ wives teas and coffee clatches that were pretty much mandatory for your husband’s career.
I hung out with enlisted wives. Huge breach of etiquette.
I drank like a fish.
I breastfed during social events. Gasp.
Even now, I’m generally no asset. I hate going to business functions and Ice Cream Balls.
Now that he works remotely, it’s no big.
But still, I am a mouthy hermit.
Enjoy my blog and I know you? Great. Just never, ever mention it to me or you’ll see the veins in my neck explode.
March 8, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Scouty- LOL! I know. I always feel a kindred spirit when I read your blog! LMAO!
March 8, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Helen
Its probably good to have a handler and legal backup and bodyguard and…
Scouty – You are quite an asset – you helped me find a press release from over two years ago which I needed for term paper, just today!
You have other assets as well, but this is a family blog.
March 8, 2009 at 2:20 pm
EWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NA NA NA NAH NAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT! ;P
March 8, 2009 at 9:30 pm
I’m beginning to think I need a handler…and a media rep, and I’m nowhere near a tv show. I am near a whole lot of idiocy…primarily caused by people sitting on a higher pay scale than my own…hence the concern over losing control of my mouth.
March 8, 2009 at 10:37 pm
Ok, I’ll fess up that I hypothetically might have stumbled you a bit to get you interested in blogging again. Heh. Only a few thumbs up I think…hypothetically. Not even a review, per se , I think, but sometimes a thumbs up can mean up to 100-600 new visitors a day when I get a thumbs up. So maybe this might be why…hypothetically that is if you wanted people to read your public blog and won’t kung fu me. We army folk aren’t as tough as your marine-type husband and hard core spawns that tear their body parts for fun and brutality.
March 8, 2009 at 11:32 pm
I understand being bad mouthed and fiery tempered. At least you have some shyness in reserve to work for you-my problem is I have NO shyness to make me appear sweet from a distance. Poor MrD is always having to play PR rep and talk up my “good side”. Even my own family likes him more than they like me because he’s genuinely sweet and unassuming and non-confrontational where as I am….well, not those things.
I have to ask though-does this mean you’re thinking about writing a book?
March 9, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Scouty- Oh REAAAALLLLLYYYYY??????!!!! That was mighty plotty of you there, my windy friend. ;D I’m not sure whether to hug you or kung fu you. ;D I actually can see that there is traffic coming from Stumbled. But not like the other day….yet.
Wife- I still haven’t decided about a book. I’ve got too much on my plate right now. I manage our son’s baseball team and it’s baseball season and I’m having surgery next week so I can’t even think about that. But Steve has been trying to encourage me in that direction.