Dear Spouse,
See that eye twitch? It’s your spawn. The day started with an MMA fight at 8:30 am, which resulted in both kids screaming and crying in pain. Do you have any idea how hard it is to break up a fight with one arm and not even be able to use the bad arm to club them over the head with?
Anyway, I spent 3 hours straight with them in the car shortly after that. It’s a miracle I didn’t throw myself out of the car at 70 mph, but really I couldn’t get the seatbelt undone with one hand.
I had to take them shopping which just compounded the problem because if they’re not beating each other up, they’re hugging and hanging off each other knocking stuff over. Do you have any idea what it’s like to deal with their multiple personalities?!
We finally arrived home and son #1 turned into an emo with an attitude problem and son #2 started this high-pitched squeeky whine.
About five minutes ago the dog started his incessant barking. I’m gonna need you to come home and go Ike Turner on his ass.
God I love Spring Break.
Your Loving Wife,
Twitchy
March 30, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Mine went back to school this morning. Thank God Spring Break is O V E R here!!!
March 30, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Who do these boys take after? Their father or dare I suggest their mother? Although it occurs to me that if they grow as tall as their father a lot of things are going to get broken as they fight later in life. Oh wait, I was going to try to cheer you up and that will not do it.
Ah, how about. Isn’t it great that your boys are willing to go out with mom? Yeah, that’s cool. Later they will not want to be seen with a parent and you will think of these as the good old days. So enjoy it while you can.
Hope you are healing quickly.
March 30, 2009 at 9:08 pm
The gods have cursed us. This week is swim team spring break. Next week is school break, but swim is back on. Last week was Beau’s UW spring break. No vacation for us. At least the swimming will keep the kids like hamsters on a wheel during their school break so I don’t get all twitchy and kill ‘em. I bet your kids are thanking the kung fu gods that yer all broken right now so you can’t properly hand ‘em their arses. Heh. Hang in there.
March 31, 2009 at 3:09 am
Arg, I hate days like that! Those are generally the days I wish the little yellow bus would come pick up MY kids…so what if they’re homeschooled? Can’t they just ride around the block a couple times? LoL.
Hopefully your husband will help you whip ‘em all into shape while you’re down a hand.
April 2, 2009 at 6:41 am
And so it begins … Where do I collect my winnings)
April 9, 2009 at 9:02 am
April 30, 2009 at 8:04 am
Boy, does this bring back some memories… I’m so glad they’re adults now and can drive themselves.
May 28, 2009 at 7:47 pm
LOL Brandy!
Alfred- Clearly their father.
Scout- LMAO at twitchy.
Person- LOL!
Mr Geek- What winnings?
Sabrina-
Pandemonic- Bet you just had a beer even thinkin’ about it.